--- title: "How Often Should we Have Sex to get Pregnant?" entity: "blog" canonical_url: "https://www.drlizaklassen.com/blog/how-often-should-we-have-sex-to-get-pregnant" markdown_url: "https://www.drlizaklassen.com/llms/blog/how-often-should-we-have-sex-to-get-pregnant" lastmod: "2024-08-23T22:49:00.000Z" --- One of the most common questions couples ask when trying to conceive is, "How often should we be having sex?" When you're ready to start or grow your family, knowing the best approach to timing and frequency of intercourse can make the journey smoother. In this blog, we’ll explore the ideal frequency of intercourse during your fertile window, the importance of reducing stress, and how to prioritize intimacy in your relationship throughout this process. ## Timing of Intercourse During the Fertile Window When it comes to trying to conceive, timing is everything. Knowing when your body is ovulating is crucial, but here’s something many people don’t realize: Your most fertile days aren’t actually the day of ovulation itself. The highest chance of fertilizing an egg occurs in the days leading up to ovulation. ### The Fertile Window Your most fertile days are one to two days before ovulation. These days correspond to the day of your LH surge (which can be detected using [ovulation predictor kits](/blog/when-is-the-best-time-to-get-pregnant)) and the day before that surge. Starting intercourse five days before your expected ovulation gives you the best chance to catch that fertile window, which decreases the stress of having to time things perfectly on ovulation day. ### Egg Viability After ovulation, the egg is only viable for about 24 hours. If you only start trying on the day of ovulation, you risk having a very short window of opportunity. But by starting earlier—ideally five days before—you extend that opportunity and give yourselves a better chance at conception. ## Frequency of Intercourse During the Fertile Window So, what does this mean for frequency? It largely depends on your partner's semen health. If a semen analysis reveals normal results, daily intercourse during the fertile window is completely fine. However, if there are concerns about low sperm count, volume, or motility, spacing intercourse out to every 48 hours can help concentrate the sperm for a better chance of success. Either way, if you're prioritizing your most fertile days and giving yourself the runway required you're getting the job done! ## Reducing Stress: Make It Fun, Not a Chore Let’s be real: The pressure of trying to conceive can quickly turn sex into a mechanical act rather than something fun and intimate. While daily intercourse during the fertile window may seem like the best option it’s essential to recognize when this frequency starts to create stress or anxiety. If daily sex feels like too much pressure, consider scaling back to every other day or focusing on just the key fertile days. Remember, if your attempts to conceive become stressful, it can start to work against you. Stress can negatively impact both partners’ health and fertility, so finding ways to stay relaxed and connected is critical. ## Prioritizing Intimacy in Your Relationship When you’re actively trying to conceive, sex can easily turn into a means to an end, rather than an expression of love and connection. And if conception doesn’t happen right away, month after month of timing sex can take a toll on intimacy in your relationship. ### Here are a few ways to keep intimacy alive during this phase: Focus on Connection, Not Just Conception: Set aside time for non-fertility-focused intimacy. Whether that’s through affection, communication, or spending quality time together, keeping the connection strong outside of the fertile window is essential for your relationship. Balance Passion and Patience: While you’re trying to conceive, it’s important to keep the fun and passion in your relationship. Let go of perfection and allow spontaneity. Don’t let the process of trying to conceive rob you of the joy of being together. Be Kind to Yourselves: If you’ve been trying for a while, remember to be gentle with yourselves and each other. Celebrate the small wins, support each other, and focus on your relationship as a whole, not just the goal of getting pregnant. ### The Bottom Line When trying to conceive, timing is critical, but so is finding a balance that works for you as a couple. Aim for consistent intercourse during your fertile window, but don’t let the process overwhelm you. Every relationship is unique, and it’s important to prioritize intimacy, reduce stress, and maintain a healthy connection with your partner. By doing so, you’ll not only increase your chances of conception but also keep your relationship strong and thriving on your pathway to pregnancy. About the Author ## Dr. Liza Klassen, ND A fertility-focused ND who bridges the medical and emotional aspects of fertility, recognizing that the journey to conception is not solely clinical but also deeply personal. She is passionate about helping her patients achieve and maintain healthy pregnancies whether natural or assisted and works collaboratively with reproductive endocrinologists and ART team to deliver high-quality & efficacious care. Watch how Dr. Liza can Help